Retail Therapy 043: The Martini Report
Plus our Drink of the Summer shortlist, long shorts, and Stone Island x New Balance.
Listen to Retail Therapy on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube (see above), and anywhere else podcasts are found.
Greetings from Michigan, the Great Lakes state, where the weather officially allows for sweaters and shorts unlike Austin. Or “cashmere knits for the nighttime boat rides,” as Drake so eloquently put it.
This week’s episode of Retail Therapy was a boozy one. But given that our Instagram bio is “shifting vibes and drinking martinis,” it simply couldn’t have been any other way. Let’s begin.
Martinis, Olive you, but you’re bringing me down.
Yeah, that title kind of felt forced to me too. Anyway.
The New York Times published a groundbreaking article this week about something most people consider to be spiritual: Martinis. Here’s an excerpt:
Consider the paradoxical thought experiment known as the Ship of Theseus: If Athenians removed and replaced every plank of Theseus’s ship so that none of the original wood remained, would it still be Theseus’s ship? Or would it become a different ship entirely?
Alternatively, take a dirty martini: gin, vermouth, olive brine and a garnish. But swap the traditional dry gin for one washed with mirepoix. Use Manzanilla sherry in place of the vermouth, a solution of chicken bouillon and MSG instead of brine, and garnish with a drizzle of olive oil. Is it still a dirty martini?
Of course, Barrett and I had to go through each of the martinis mentioned in the article. Here’s the complete list with (most) of the information I could gather:
Chicken Soup Martini
Oyster Mignonette Martini — “an oyster mignonette martini at Mar’s served with an East Coast oyster on the side”
Pickle — “The dirty martini at Albert’s Bar in New York swaps the traditional olive brine for spicy pickle juice.”
Caprese Martini — “Basil-infused, balsamic-dotted Caprese martini at Jac’s on Bond”
Radish Water Martini — “radish-water martini at Naro”
Squid Ink Martini — “squid ink martini at American Express’s new Centurion Lounge.”
Seaweed/Muscadet — “At Este in Austin, Texas, you can order a martini made with muscadet wine and kombu seaweed”
Habanero Mezcal — “ Dear Madison in Chicago serves a version with habanero mezcal and lime juice”
Pepperoncini Martini
Pickled Fennel and Yuzu
Au Poivre — at Le Rock, in Rockefeller Center
Washed with sushi rice — Albert’s Bar in Midtown
Garnished with a ball of mozzarella — Little Ned, in NoMad
And to really get another round in, we parlayed this conversation with a brief discussion of our current shortlist for the much-discussed Drink of the Summer for 2023.
White Negroni
Americano
Hugo Spritz
While we aren’t saying it absolutely be one of the above cocktails, we’d at least like to invite them to the award ceremony should it occur.
Who wears short shorts? Not the cool kids.
I’m officially denouncing the term “manpri” before it even enters the conversation, but a Wall Street Journal piece titled Manpri Summer: How Men’s Shorts Got So Long raised some questions on our end.
But as with anything in fashion, the onslaught of shorter shorts over the past few summers has driven some the other way. The look has “gotten saturated,” said James Harris, the co-host of the popular men’s fashion podcast Throwing Fits. He now associates the look with “white male frat boys,” which he called a “death knell” for any trickle-down fashion trend.
Once risqué, it is now rote to flash some thigh. Instead, said Mr. Harris, “the sluttiness has moved north,” pointing to the surge of lace shirts and crop tops among the fresh-faced and trend-conscious in cities like New York and Los Angeles.
I left the conversation and article feeling even more uncertain about my short game than I’ve ever been. The journey continues.
Stone Island x New Balance
Maybe it’s because we’re only a couple weeks away from the Premier League season ramping up again or if I’m just craving fall English weather, but the recent Stone Island x New Balance collaboration caught my eye.
Here’s my top-four this season — No, I will not be offering any explanations.
City
United
Arsenal
Liverpool
I’ll be deleting this three months from now.
Of course, we closed things out with our wishlists and imminent cops.
For 2023, we’ve hit the reset button on our wishlists and made them a bit more digestible for the year ahead. To access the complete version of our 2022 wishlists, look no further than our final Listener Digest of 2022. New items in bold.
Will’s Wishlist (2023)
YSL Patent Tortoise Le Loafers ($895) — Link
AYR Sweatpants ($145) — Link
Pebble Strike Match Holder by Houseplant ($125) — Link
NikeCraft General Purpose Shoe —Link(Bought/Returned)Sangre de Fruta Garden of Earthly Delights Body Wash ($48) —Link(Purchased.)New Balance 574 Legacy (MKT) — Link
Bode Kids Lace Shirt ($198) —Link(Too ridiculous)Aime Leon Dore Eyelet Knit Shorts (Sold Out) —Link(Tried on, too heavy.)Birkenstock Kyoto Suede Leather Gray ($220) — Link
Manresa Corn Neck Shorts ($105) —LinkAdidas Adilette 22 Slides ($60) —Link(Not into them anymore.)Football: Designing the Beautiful Game Book ($45) —Link(Bought this instead.)Stussy Heavyweight Pigment Dyed LS Tee ($65) — Link
New: UTurn Turntable Weight & Cork Mat — Link
New: Vintage Early 90s Grateful Dead Tee (1 of 1 so withholding link)
Seeking Help: Nice desk picture frame for a film photo!
Barrett’s Wishlist (2023)
Loewe Puzzle Cardholder ($335) — Link
Bottega Veneta Credit Card Case ($420) — Link
R13 Beige Kurt Sneakers ($470) — Link
Le Labo Fragrances ($220) — The Matcha 26 | Another 13
Homme Plisse Issey Miyake “Color Pleats” ($325) — Link
Polo Country Ball Cap ($55) — Link
Moscot Yontif Sunglasses in Blonde ($340) — Link
John Elliott Patchwork Military Shirt Jacket ($998) — Link
Todd Snyder Seersucker Weekender Shirt ($118) — Link
Birkenstock EVA Arizona ($50) — Link
OAS Bohemia Swim Shorts ($90) — Link
J.Crew 6” Tech Dock Short ($70) — Link
Made In Carbon Steel Griddle + Press ($199) — Link
New: Uniqlo Utility Short Coat ($80) — Link
Listen to Retail Therapy on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube (see above), and anywhere else podcasts are found.