Sunday Confessions: 9-29-24

"I hate to admit but I think I am the most interesting person I know."

For more Sunday Confessions, read the archive.

Perhaps it’s the shift to fall. Maybe it’s the over-consumption on football Saturdays and Sundays. Or maybe everyone’s just in complete disarray. But this week, I received more submissions than ever before.

My admission this week? I intentionally omitted a lot of people who want to leave their spouses because of mistakes they made themselves. I’ll… leave it at that.

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A close friend is dating someone who is the exact opposite of what they wanted in a partner (their words). They are so afraid of being alone they’re going to settle for mediocre.

I fear I’ve reached the age where not enough sleep and not showering first thing in the morning feels the same if not worse than a hangover.

Recently slept with a coworker 5 years younger than me, and now I’m seriously crushing on him. I blush when he talks to me and feel myself getting jealous when he’s talking to other girls in the office. Help.

i called my boss “baby” accidentally and everyone looked at me. it happened a year ago and i still think about it.

Since I gave notice, all of my interactions at work involve people telling me how vital I was to this operation and it’s making me sad.

I think I’m just really bad with money.

I love the smell of cigarettes. Brings me back to dive bar days.

I spaced out at the store and took a strangers shopping cart. Instead of owning up I bailed.

I don’t want to spend another New Year’s single, surrounded by couples telling me I will find someone when I least expect it.

My over-the-summer situationship fizzled out in early August when he went silent. He messaged me this past week apologizing (with legitimate reasons for his disappearance) and said I deserved better than that. Within a day he asked if we could pick up where we left off and by Friday night I was very happily in his bed again and had A Very Nice Night. It might not last but god it’s good enough for now.

I spent $25 over the past few days asking Co-Star if he’s missing me. It kept telling me no. So I turned to chatGPT and asked for a tarot reading and was able to feed my delusion that he’s conflicted, still has feelings, and may reach out.

I hate Instagram reels and mostly generically respond when people send them to me now without even watching. They’re all Facebook humor now.

Bumped into an ex-situationship this weekend, exchanged smiles and I felt great after (she tucked tail and avoided further interaction). It took entirely too long, but I think I'm finally over her.

My mother was so annoying at my wedding, we crushed a Xanax and put it in her drink to calm her down.

I’ve become addicted to skincare and no one is stopping me.

I’ve been using ChatGPT to write reports on data at work. My boss is really impressed with my insights, but I also know that she herself has no idea how to read and interpret the data. Not sorry.

I’m 55 and in love with the 31yo I’ve been fucking all spring and summer, but he basically gaslit me yesterday.

I am so sublimely happy and my friends are miserable, I hate that I can’t scream from the rooftops.

I want to do ketamine therapy to grasp at a chance of happiness in this mundane life repeating itself every single day.

Got married a few weeks ago and now I am legitimately struggling with no longer be the center of everyone’s attention.

I went on a pity date this week.

In my 40s. Swallowed a piece of body jewelry while messing around. Spent the last week feeling it move slowly down my esophagus.

I went on my first work trip with my boss. Got the flu coming back, had to make him stop every 10 mins so I could vomit. Ended up also getting diarrhea and shitting my self while throwing up and had to ride back like that.

I unfriend people on social media all the time on their birthdays. The notification is my little reminder to "clean house.”

My ex is speaking at a conference in October. I want to buy a ticket just to boo him when he comes on stage and then leave.

Hooked up with a guy and had the best time. We talked all night and laughed and had veryyy good chemistry. The next night went out with a group of friends and saw him out with his girlfriend.

Went to my first “jam band” concert. Realizing I’m too old for GA. Back and knees are angry.

I fuck my boss sometimes.

I hate to admit but I think I am the most interesting person I know.

I accidentally got my coworker fired because of an ethics complaint I submitted. I thought they would just give him a diversity training, but I guess not. Lots of coworkers have since thanked me.

I love sharing my location with my best friends so that I don’t have to openly admit that I stayed the night at my date’s place. My girlfriends already text me saying they knew and searched up the apartment complex, the rent prices.

Undergoing fertility treatments and could technically be pregnant. I am incredibly excited but terrified and am now second guessing that I’m actually ready for this and if I’ll even be a good parent.

I hate the American way of life, I have tried to move to Europe but my wife pushes back against it. It is killing our marriage.

I’m so hungover I think the only thing that will save me is cannonballing into my pool fully clothed.

Thought i was puking blood. Turns out, it was just the cabernet.

I’m the only one in my family that knows my uncle cheated on my aunt and has a secret daughter with the other woman. He doesn’t even know I know. He’s a shitty person but I’ll never out him because it’s not my business, and I don’t want to hurt my cousins like that.

Sometimes I still feel guilty about the time I hacked a girl’s Facebook in high school and made her profile picture an Easy Button.

I respect people who have remote jobs a little less.

Pretended to be doing the laundry for over 2 hours but really was napping in the bedroom away from my husband and his friends while they watched football.

It physically pains me that I will never get to experience a techno club in Europe as a single woman.

Been going to couples counseling for 6 months now after an unexpected relationship crisis. Starting to wonder if the therapist knows which couples will actually make it or if they can tell when it’s a lost cause.

My biggest wish every Sunday is for my boyfriends fantasy football to go well so he’ll be happy and give me attention.

I’m starting to love Joe Burrow’s frosted tips.

A couple of years ago, I had a massage at an upscale spa. The European Masseuse and I flirted, and he said I just had to “say the word” and it would have a happy ending. Was afraid my hubby would be mad, so I didn’t, and I’ve regretted it ever since.

Listening to a spicy audio book (through earbuds) while I do yard work and my kids play 10 yards away.

I feel like my friends love me but sometimes my anxiety gets the best of me and I don’t really know if they like or just tolerate me. It keeps me up at night.

Almost slept with a coworker 6 months ago. Saw him for the first time this weekend… if you’re reading this, I’m still down, you looked GOOD.

Being a Man United fan is terrible for my mental health and I’m considering not following them.

Editor’s Note: As a fellow Manchester United supporter since childhood, I’m also considering not watching any matches until we fire our manager. Yesterday’s match ruined my day and I don’t like that team I have no actual affiliation with can do that to me.

For 3 months I’ve been secretly texting a guy that one of my good friends has a crush on.

Drunkenly admitted my wedding floral bill to my boss’s boss so pretty sure I’ve talked myself out of a bonus this year.

Haven't talked to my best friend in 2 weeks and my life has never felt less toxic.

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