Sunday Confessions: 8-3-25

"I caught my divorced parents dating each other again."

Welcome to Sunday Confessions. Each Sunday through Sunday Scaries Instagram stories, readers submit their totally-anonymous confessions. Because sometimes it just feels good to get off your chest.

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As I sit in the airport going through Sunday Confessions for the early flight out of San Francisco, I feel far more refreshed than someone who went to a 60,000-person concert last night should feel. Playing with house money today.

Here are this week’s confessions.

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My husband is on a health journey and it’s pissing me off.

My fiance and I use the same deodorant. Is that weird? Not sure if that’s weird.

Farted in the sauna and blamed it on a guy who had just left. Cleared the room of 15 people the smell was so horrific.

Husband out of town. Got high and read Richard Scarry’s Best World Book Ever. Can I just move there? I could avoid our current hellscape completely.

I need influencers to stop tapping everything with their fake nails. It’s driving me bananas.

Sometimes I send nudes to my client mid-meeting just to see his reaction live.

My body count is 25 but I always lie and say it’s 7.

I keep having dreams about being watched by secret cameras and I don’t know what that means.

I’ve been dreaming of running away and not telling anyone. I literally have it all planned out in my notes app.

Need to stop stalking my ex-situationship’s Strava. It’s good motivation to start running through my summertime sadness though.

I got a bad (and undeserved) annual review earlier this summer, so since then I’ve been hitting my weed pen on my morning commute and during lunch. Ironically, my boss has noticed “improvement” in my work and attitude.

Leading multiple men on because I like the attention.

I never wipe down my treadmill at the gym and I don’t feel bad about it.

Had a really great dream I was kissing my best friend in her kitchen on her birthday and now I’m super sad because I know she’ll never want to kiss me back.

Older French speaking man I’ve been hooking up with for 6 months bought me the English translation of his favorite book because he thought I’d like it. It’s not serious and we’d never work, but receiving it broke my heart for what will never be.

I’ve done nothing but smoke weed and masturbate all weekend

About to meet a guy I’ve known on the internet for 5 years and I don’t know what he looks like.

The more I am around rich trust fund kids the more I have burning desire to wage class warfare.

I’m pretty sure my wife is better at golf than I am. Also, pretty sure I have a hemorrhoid.

I pee in the sink at work. It’s easier since we don’t have urinals.

I unfollow anyone who is reading Rick Rubin's book.

I usually take the extra 30 mins before getting up for the day to manifest my future husband, kiddos, beach house, etc. I haven’t been able to for the LAST week. A whole seven days. Are my dreams giving up on my dreams?

Cashier at the supermarket never scanned my fourth bottle of wine. Didn't call attention to it.

When my cat throws up in the house, I wait until my husband finds it and pretend I didn’t see it so I don’t have to clean it up.

Debating wearing a dress that is mostly white to friend's wedding to be a low key bitch for not choosing me to be a bridesmaid.

Went out for cocktails with the team. Hot boss sat by me. Sneaky eye contact got the best of me. When we all left I got up and there was perfectly atomically shaped stamp of my lady bits.

I think there is a threesome going on in my department.

I’m in love with the new weather girl. Shoutout Stevie.

Ran into one of my teachers from high school at the bar last night. He bought me drinks and we were catching up till the bar closed. Ended up having sex with him and didn’t make it home till almost 6:00am.

I definitely smoked weed before going to church.

I paid an Etsy psychic to draw my future soulmate and he looks way to much like my former manager that I’m in love with.

I really like my new fake freckle stamp (inspired by the love island girls) but am paranoid that I’m going to manifest melasma, like the universe will say oh you want freckles? Well here you go.

From watching random TikToks this week, I learned I have accidentally being doing something illegal at work for quite some time. Oops.

I use too much toilet paper, and I don’t feel bad about it.

I feel superior to everyone j-walking, when I have time to wait at the pedestrian crosswalk.

I got cracked like a free-range egg last night by a super sexy football player.

When I was in high school, I threw a party at my grandparents house while they were out of town and someone made a hole in their air hockey table. My grandmother blamed my step cousin and 21 years later, I still haven’t told her the truth.

I quietly broke up with my therapist by canceling my next appointment and I’m not rescheduling. I think she’s needs therapy instead because her current divorce is showing up in her responses when I try to talk about my relationship.

Matcha tastes like dirt and I judge people for drinking it.

I’m pretty sure I’ve seen my bf put his finger in his nose and then into his mouth. More than once. But he’s the love of my life so.

Accidentally bought vegan bread for my husband’s lunches and convinced him that it was just different recipe.

On Google Maps, I report or confirm a nearby police presence, even when there isn’t one, to encourage safer driving.

I haven’t washed my shower curtain in about 6 months

I have been unfollowing accounts on Instagram that are using the weird new scribbly font too much. It’s just too damn ugly.

Sometimes when I’m bored at the airport, I’ll try and see how much I can learn about a stranger just from the info on their exposed luggage tag.

Whenever someone makes their football team their entire personality on social media, I secretly hope and pray that their team loses. It’s August 3rd and I’m already annoyed.

My in laws just offered to buy us a house if we give them a grandchild. We have been on the fence about children, but seriously considering it as struggling Millennials.

Threw up in the bed last night, haven’t done that since college. Violently hungover today, job interview tomorrow. Prayers appreciated.

I don’t follow too much on astrology but this Aries is entranced by a Libra man and I cannot stay away.

I’m writing a novel. I think it’s actually going to be really good, but I’m still not telling very many people in case it goes nowhere… or even worse, in case they think I’m pathetic for trying. Also, some people are going to be surprised by these “fictional” events if it ever sees shelves.

Danced very sexy and was felt up by a guy who turned out to be the bachelor in the bachelor party. Wish I knew who the bride was to warn her. This is why I have trust issues.

I took all my toilet paper upstairs and instead of bringing a roll downstairs I’ve been using Chipotle napkins to wipe.

I subscribe this girl that did me wrong to a bunch of annoying email subscriptions.

had a wholesome sunday morning at the farmers market followed by whole foods. i was honked at in the whole foods parking lot when someone sped up instead of letting me back out and it has haunted the rest of my wholesome day.

I caught my divorced parents dating each other again.

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