Sunday Confessions: 6-8-25

"Kissing him was disappointing."

Welcome to Sunday Confessions. Each Sunday through Sunday Scaries Instagram stories, readers submit their totally-anonymous confessions. Because sometime it just feels good to get off your chest.

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I, unfortunately, have had to swear off ice cream for the foreseeable future. After breezing through pints of it at a rapid clip over the last few months, a pair of pants that should be loose on me hugged a little too much. And I can’t afford to buy a larger pair, so I have no choice but to replace this habit with cottage cheese. No further questions at this time.

Here are all this week’s confessions:

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I keep a running note in my phone for all the times my husband says something mean to me. If he plays his cards right, I’ll either delete it someday, use it in therapy, or give it to a lawyer.

Eating leftover birthday cake for breakfast is a luxurious treat.

Made out with two different guys this weekend to try to get over my ex. Didn’t work.

I haven’t gone to the dentist in over 5 years.

I dislike one of my colleagues so much that every time we take a group photo, I photoshop them fatter to give them a complex.

I prefer phone sex over in person.

I’m plotting my revenge against all of my “friends” who don’t show up to my baby shower.

If someone wanted to blackmail me, all they’d have to do is open my ChatGPT.

I don't really know how to use my Oura Ring. It’s mostly just for the vibes.

When I work from home I always have a nap and put my teams status as do not disturb so it looks like I’m in a meeting.

About to drive my best friend and his wife to the airport for their flight to officially move from the Midwest. I was best man in their wedding last week, and now after 7 years of all of us together between college and grad school, the fun is moving into its “next phase.” Don’t think I’m ready for it.

I had a dream that I got RAILED by Logan Paul. I'm a lesbian.

I think of you when my head hits my pillow at night.

I’m jealous of the people using GLP-1s.

Flirted a little too much with a guy I met at my best friend’s wedding out of state, now I’m on a flight. Caught feelings and flights.

My hour commute to just sit in front of a screen for 8 hours is eating me alive, but I have no idea what else to do.

Every time I go out with my friends and drink I wake up sure they all hate me. They never do, but I still will forever be a hang-xiety queen.

I pick my nose in the shower.

I have never seen more ketamine used by a population than those attending World Pride.

Purposely let my husband sleep through his 4:30 a.m. alarm for a work trip flight because I didn’t want him to leave me alone with our newborn and his mother-in-law.

I used to be the hot sweaty friend all summer but I lost 40 pounds on Ozempic and now I’m the girlie that’s always cold.

Caught up with my childhood best friend today and realized I am more than happy with how we have drifted apart.

My dad’s credit card is on my Uber account. I always offer to get the Uber’s and still charge everyone like my own little side hustle.

I still have my Christmas lights up on my house. They are lit, and I’m not taking them down.

Going to work tomorrow because I’m too honest to fake a sick day, too shy for OnlyFans, too old for a sugar daddy and way too clueless for crypto.

Kissing him was disappointing.

I spend so much time reading that I reject my real life.

Fantasizing about a cottage in the woods with a screened in porch once my divorce is final.

I had a date with a 21 year old and a 26 year old this weekend. I'm 33. They don’t care and so neither do I.

Consider myself a strong feminist, but now that I'm married I just want to quit my job and be a wife.

The most annoying sound in the world is listening to my wife doomscrolling.

There is nothing better than putting a full LL Bean Boat and Tote and Yeti cooler in the pontoon boat on Saturday morning.

I baked and ate an entire cake myself. Whatever. Things are rough right now.

Would love to be transported back to 2015 if only for a night. I could use some Two Buck Chuck and a round of Cards Against Humanity with friends that have nowhere to be.

I’ve watched every episode of Severance and I have no idea what’s going on.

I love laying in my bed and ignoring everyone one weekend a month.

I ran into my ex on Thursday and I haven’t stopped thinking about him since. I feel like Carrie Bradshaw when she runs into Big and obsesses over it.

I would rather drink a Costco sized jug of tartar sauce than attend my 8:30 a.m. meeting tomorrow.

Sometimes after an extra frustrating and difficult day of work and parenting, I’ll add an obscene amount of wasabi to my order in sushi just to make it hurt a little. Helps me feel in control of my feelings and also great for clearing sinuses.

My boyfriend bought me a diamond tennis necklace as a gift and I don’t have the heart to tell him I hate it and he doesn’t know my style.

My best friend thinks she’s a girls girl but isn’t at all. Literally the worst.

Anytime I self checkout, I purposely don’t pay for one thing, I don’t even care.

I have a thing for a ginger, so not my type, but he is safe and easy to fall for.

I publicly say I’m intolerant/allergic to seafood, but in reality, I just hate the smell.

I sleep wearing a mumu and have a stuffed animal every night. I’m 37 and make 6 figures. Duality.

Went to my friend’s sister’s wedding. Their dad not-so-subtly said he wants to fuck me.

Vaccuming my bath mats makes me feel fancy and brings me joy every time I see them.

Ordered, paid for, and had my own birthday cake delivered anonymously as a gift to my party because I knew my sisters couldn’t be trusted to purchase a proper cake.

I actually don’t know if I like oysters or if I just eat them for the vibes.

Took a trip to Japan to forget about a girl ghosting me. She’s been watching all my stories.

Texted a guy 5 times Saturday night then deleted. I can feel the weight of them sitting in my recently deleted but am avoiding.

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