Sunday Confessions: 4-28-24

"Met client for first time in person and next day busted me smoking a dart."

Last night, I hit the perfect Sunday wave. Around 5 o’clock, I got a burst of energy and just started cleaning — no surface was safe, the dish was destined to be empty by bedtime, and I couldn’t wait to get in our bed that was graced with clean sheets. Waking up today knowing I had *nothing* to do from a housework standpoint was borderline cathartic.

And then I read today’s confessions.

Buckle up, because we’ve got some doozies this week.

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Nothing like having your boyfriend’s hot friend visit for the weekend to affirm that your boyfriend needs to drop 15 pounds.

My divorce will be final on Wednesday… I’m feeling more relieved than I ever thought possible. I think I’ll take myself out for a celebratory drink after court.

Really glad the bottle of wine let me agree to a date with my best friends dad.

I dumped two close friends this week whose insecurities had become really toxic for me to deal with. Sad but had to.

Fifth grade crush and I have been in each other’s DMs. We’re both in sexless marriages. Wondering if I should go off the deep end with him.

It seems like my social circle dwindled to nothing during the pandemic and now I can't get it back. No one seems to want to hang anymore.

I was always jealous when I saw the bond my best friend has with her mom. Over time I’ve come to realize the extent of their bond, is actually very co-dependent and keeps her in a state of arrested development. I don’t wanna be friends with someone in their early 30’s who has the emotional maturity of a 17 year old. I don’t feel bringing up the codependency issue would help; trying to find another way to weasel out this friendship.

I’ve comed to the realisation that I’m not that important to my friends as they are to me. They’re either starting families or out partying and I’m recovering from being burnt out and have no interest in either of those options.

i can’t stop buying stuff. i’m in $10k credit card debt after 8 months of being unemployed last year. i finally have a job but i’m spending like i make twice what i do and i don’t know how to stop.

I adopted a dog about 6 weeks ago and shortly after that my work schedule completely changed and I am significantly less available for her now. Also pretty unhappy being a pet parent. Not sure what to do.

Pretty sure I just met my soulmate. Terrified and hopeful.

Went on two dates this weekend with two different men, the first one I got a parking ticket and the second I got food poisoning. Do we think the universe is trying to tell me something?

My parents so clearly treat my brother and I so very differently — and it’s really starting to get to me….

Being the only single friend in the group. And everyone else saying “oh it’s not that hard to find someone.” Have you see it out here, it is the trenches.

Slept with a girl last night who could possibly be my cousin…. I don’t know for sure, and I don’t want to know. FYI didn’t realize until after.

Hanging out with family this weekend to celebrate a milestone but I'd rather be at home by myself.

I‘m looking for a new corporate gig so I can get pregnant next year and not worry about income or working when maternity leave hits.

I keep having sex with my ex-husband. As good as it feels, the after math always ends with me crying non stop, and thinking why couldn’t we work things out.

My mom is a bitch. Last week she told me my hair color didn’t look natural. This week she week she criticized my home for being too small. She also likes to complain to me that I never talk to her and tell her what’s going on in my life. I wonder why?

One of my best friends complains a lot about her coworker, she does not know we hooked up and it was great.

I think my husband and I are best looking and the happiest couple amongst everyone we know. It makes me sad others would never experience this level of perfection.

Feeling hornier in my 30s than ever before in my life.

I’m 29 and single so I’m in my “silent dating era” which means I am not telling anyone about dates until it’s serious because it’s exhausting getting excited about someone for them only ghost me 1 week later.

I don’t think my best friend likes me anymore and I’m too afraid to ask her about it because I don’t want it to turn out to be true. (I have an anxiety disorder.)

I’m abroad and I slept with an Italian guy Thursday then slept with a different Italian guy Friday.

All my friends are having kids (another one born recently) and I feel behind, like I’m slowly going to be phased out until I catch up. They are all staying home permanently with their kids and I can’t relate to the stage of life they’re in. I could never imagine not working. I have no desire to have children soon. I love them and their kids but I’m just not there yet. I thought as they had their babies I would finally be ready for my own but I’m not even close.

A few days a week, I get to the office early before anyone else arrives and it’s the only time I truly enjoy being in the office. I like all my coworkers just fine, but I think I’d like them more if I didn’t see them every day.

I’m in love with someone I work with and he has absolutely no idea. He’s 6 years older than me and I’m obsessed with him in the weird delulu way where I think he actually likes me back and we have a chance together.

Editor’s Note: Today is the day when “delulu” made numerous submissions and I’ve officially learned what it means.

When people post pictures of their baby, I almost always think, "That baby is ugly.”

Met client for first time in person and next day busted me smoking a dart.

At the in-laws this weekend, MIL hates me. She got petty with me, so we left to “take a nap”. Proceeded to absolutely smash the hell out of her son while she was in the room next door. Not sorry at all.

My boyfriend of nearly four years, who I live with, just told me that he doesn’t want to get married. Ever. I made it clear before we had our first date (and throughout our relationship relationship) that I was dating to marry.

Walked to a half marathon with super cute stranger. Chatted the whole time. Kicking myself for not just shooting my shot.

Editor’s Note: We need to find this stranger.

I haven’t been replying to boys for a month now, and I’m close to getting my period and I’ve literally texted my entire roster on Sunday hungover and horny.

I regret allowing my ex girlfriend to take the dog I bought her while we were dating, but I can’t change it now.

Fooled around with the person I’m in love with’s best friend and told him I’m in love with his best friend. We cheers and drank martinis.

My husband can never be happy with anything. We moved to another country not once but twice for his job and he's always complaining, wishing for things he once had and didn't make him happy then. It's not that I don't want him to have any ambition, I just don't want him whining about EVERY. SINGLE. THING.

My boyfriend never pays and I don’t know how to talk to him about it.

I spend an ungodly amount of company time thinking about fucking my boss’ boss.

My husband’s grandma gave us a substantial amount of money. She wrote us each a check for 10k because we are about to buy a house and she wanted to help us. We both feel so guilty that we aren’t doing this on our own.

Got told I write like a child by multiple coworkers and I’m the social media person. My boss has people reviewing everything I do now.

Let’s have a good week, everyone.

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