Sunday Confessions: 4-27-25

"I haven’t washed my sheets in over a year."

Welcome to Sunday Confessions. Each Sunday through Sunday Scaries Instagram stories, readers submit their totally-anonymous confessions. Because sometime it just feels good to get off your chest.

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Did something different this week that I’ve ever done before. Since I had some extra time Sunday, I sporadically went through the submissions throughout the day rather than diving headfirst into them on Monday morning. And I think I’m better off for it? Who knows.

Anyway, here are all of this week’s confessions.

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My friend group kinda sucks tbh.

I’m 21 and chronically pick my nose….bad. I’m nervous someone I love will catch me and leave me.

I never clean my new earrings or nose rings before I put them in. And then lie when my husband asked me if I cleaned them.

My boss surprised us by announcing her retirement last week. I had to mentally tell myself to wipe the look of glee off of my face.

Sometimes when I put on makeup, I don’t feel like I necessarily look better… I’m just wearing makeup.

Hangxiety is so bad today. Makes me want to stop drinking but I know I’ll do it all again next weekend.

I don’t know what Permanent Press means, but I wash my clothes in that cycle.

Still not engaged. Still making sure I’m not looking like Adam Sandler when I walk out the flat.

I nicknamed my shower head… The Walton Goggins.

I treat hotel towels as ‘one use only.’ I know it’s not good for the environment but it feels so good to throw it on the ground after and use a fresh one next time.

I’m faking an injury to get out of running my next marathon with my friends.

Inspired by a post months ago, I had "c*m" monogrammed onto towels for my partner and I to keep in the nightstand. It's so dumb but it makes me laugh every single time I see it. Small joys, you know?

My ambition completely evaporated when I started reading leadership books. No thank you!

I do not like thrift shopping. This may be pretentious but I want to be the first person to wear that piece of clothing.

I know I need to break up with my boyfriend, but my birthday is next month and I want a birthday present first.

I change the weight to heavier on the machine so the next person thinks I’m super strong.

This girl I hate got arrested and I am debating sending her mug shot to all her friends.

I left a thirst comment on a bad bunny post (that Calvin Klein ad). My coworker just sent it to me.

I’ve never once successfully put my AirPods back in their respective sides correctly on the first try. Why go left ear, left side, right ear, right side when you can just try and mash them in like a feral raccoon?

I lost my virginity to a micro penis.

I dream of quitting my job and divorcing my husband and moving to France with my cat.

I get one work from home day a week and for the past month I haven't actually done much work at home. Hate to prove my asshole boss right (he doesn't think we should be allowed to WFH), probably not going to stop doing it.

I hooked up with a coworker and am now pregnant. I’ve never wanted kids but I think I do now? Maybe the hormones are lying to me.

Whenever my friends announce that they are pregnant or engaged (so often by the way) I act super happy and then immediately sob when I’m alone.

I tell people it’s for fitness, but the main reason I run 5Ks is to escape from my husband and kids for a few hours on the weekends.

I’m still mourning the loss of Anthony Bourdain.

I take great comfort in the fact that if my husband wanted to cheat on me, he’d have to choose between leaving me and losing our standard of living. And at this age, he’s just not meant to live an uncomfortable life.

I've never believed that Alyson Hannigan is a natural redhead.

I really don’t understand why people hate the Dave Matthews Band.

Feel bad watching Fantastic Beasts given what a piece of shit J.K. Rowling is, but it needs to be said how damn hot Jude Law is in it! Makes me feral.

Sometimes, after I’ve brushed my teeth at night, I have a little snack and don’t brush them again. I work in dentistry.

My beloved hairstylist of 7 years has been giving good but not great cuts lately and I want to stop going to them but don't know how to pivot.

I secretly want to hookup with my best friend, that dress she was in last night was smoking hot.

I wanted to scream at the young woman in front of me today as I watched the 80 year old cashier bag her $300 all organic groceries. Apparently she was too good to do it herself. When it was my turn, he was appreciative that I bagged my own. Common courtesy. I hate anyone who feels entitled.

I haven’t washed my sheets in over a year.

Editor’s Note: Please wash your sheets. And then do it the following week. And then the following week. And then repeat that cycle until the end of time.

I’m desperate to lose weight but am too embarrassed to be perceived as trying to lose weight.

Met my female friend’s new boyfriend. He said “To be honest, I like you more than her.” I’m a dude.

I am a grown ass adult who loves to eat Fruit Roll-Ups all squished up in a ball.

Skipped a sorority function to get railed.

I pee in the shower but would be absolutely livid if I found out that my husband pees in the shower.

I pretend I don’t know how to use the espresso machine so my husband will make me coffee every day. I worry if he knows I can do it, it will become another household task I am responsible for. However, whenever he is gone, I make myself coffee at home.

I've been on Ozempic for 6 months and have lost 40 lbs. I haven't told anyone I'm on it. They think I've lost it naturally.

I can’t tell the difference between cheap and expensive wine. Wine is wine to me.

I have a weekdays-only situationship that I was fantasizing about all weekend.

Sometimes I don’t watch the reels my friends send me if I have a feeling they’ll be too long or not funny. I’ll just give a heart reaction so they don’t feel ignored.

I unfollow people when they get pregnant.

10:38am: I just ate Taco Bell and cookies for breakfast and feel incredibly guilty about it only bc my stomach is going to be a wreck.

Told my colleagues I’m running the London marathon today. I’m actually hungover in bed.

I’ve never had a cigarette or nicotine in my life, but I crave smoking so bad sometimes that I’m convinced my mom smoked while she was pregnant with me.

I’m judging my friends posting all their Stagecoach pics. Just no.

My boyfriend is considering shaving off his beard and cutting off his man bun. I’m secretly afraid I’ll be less attracted to him because he’ll look less like Jason Momoa and more like Brad from Accounting.

Teacher here. Last day of spring break today. Seriously considering selling feet pics so I don’t have to go back tomorrow.

I was one of the people who responded that all mugs should match. Mine do not all match.

I’ve been talking a lot of shit lately. Probably should stop, definitely won’t.

I judge my friends who check luggage for a trip less than a week. Get your life together and carry-on!

I screenshot bad outfits friends post, reverse google image search them, and it always makes me feel better I’m not dumb with bad taste.

I wfh and I smoke pot during my lunch hour everyday.

My wife’s exes family is moving in across the street. I’m not a jealous type at all, but I don’t know how to feel about this.

It gives me a thrill that my high school boyfriend watches all my stories. I'm 37.

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