Welcome to Sunday Confessions. Each Sunday through Sunday Scaries Instagram stories, readers submit their totally-anonymous confessions. Because sometime it just feels good to get off your chest.
Rather than submit my own confession this week, here are some trends I’ve been seeing lately from everything submitted to me:
Too many people being proud of disliking White Lotus. Major energy of people who never wanted to like it in the first place.
A lot of people replacing the word “and” with “&” when you shouldn’t be — stop it.
For the last month, there’s been a huge uptick in child-less people complaining about not wanting to have kids, and it feels like it’s based on the judgment they feel from friends who do have kids. Everyone needs to relax and stay in their own lane here.
Anyway, here are this week’s confessions:
Hooked up with a man I thought was my age or older, turned out he was 7 years younger than me so I refused to learn his name.
I throw my husband’s things away when he’s out of town. I later gaslight him - he’s been looking for his Vibram toe shoes for five years.
I really like peeing in the shower.
I can’t watch The Great British Bake Off because it makes me want to binge eat desserts.
Sometimes I buy croutons and eat them like a bag of chips.
Low key annoyed the bagel shop just told me “I’m 10 min early” rather than just saying my online order wasn’t ready yet.
My friends will be furious but I think I’m bailing on an upcoming trip simply because I can’t fathom getting on a plane after all these recent crashes. Keeping my mouth shut for now though.
The sound of my husband chewing pisses me off.
I’m pregnant! No one knows yet and I’m dying to tell someone.
I check the views of every Instagram story I post to see if the people I wanted to see it looked.
Secretly dating a coworker. We are both in HR.
People at work have made politics their personality and now I dread going into work and doing the job I thought I loved.
Shane Gillis is so hot. Def my hall pass.
I love my bestie, but she is often annoying, which is how I likely appear to my other bestie.
Hometown wedding last weekend, ran into my sophomore year history teacher… had one too many and you know the rest.
Pretty sure some of my friends have no idea what my actual job is and think I bought my house with influencer money.
Telling work I had airline issues getting home so I could extend my trip to Tulum.
I hated The Brutalist, and also am not feeling White Lotus. Am I depressed or just cultured?
I’m a therapist and I’m 7 months behind on case notes. I’ll never catch up.
My vibrator died and I don’t know who’s more devastated. Me or my husband.
Fell flat on my face at the gym in front of my crush, got so nervous I threw up and peed my pants.
It is not a want him at this point, it’s a desperately need him.
I ghosted a guy yesterday that I was really crazy about because he made a comment about liking Trump’s bullying of Zelenskyy.
Took the early flight home from a Bachelorette party and easily best decision I have even made. Made it home before most of the other even got on their plane.
I took one too many edibles yesterday and pretty sure I woke up still stoned this morning. Happy Sunday.
A girls intuition to pick out exactly which girl it is, is unmatched… also she’s been stalking my Instagram stories and she finally posted a photo with him.
Whenever I run out of milk at home I always toy with the idea of stealing some from the office. A girl’s gotta get smart about spending.
I asked my psychiatrist if I could vape in her office since she’s so cool. She laughed. So I’m guessing that was a no?
Sometimes I offer my wife late night snacks, only after I know she brushed her teeth so that she’ll say no, and I can have more snacks.
i’m in love…fuck.
I could eat Taco Bell every single day. It is not a drunk food. It is life.
Loving my healthy girl era, but my inner party girl is dying to make a comeback.
Realized that the girls trip highlighted toxic friendships.
My Muslim side piece and I just banged in his car before him heading to mosque to pray for the start of Ramadan.
I reuse my floss picks a couple times before throwing them away. Is that gross?
Slowly realizing that I might just be middle class and I just need to accept it and quit doing all these “aspirational” things.
For restaurants that have online ordering as an option for pick up, I have been ordering off the children’s menu to have my favorite meals in a smaller portion at a lower cost to save money.
I need a break from my best friend.
judge people who use too many exclamation points in work emails, but I do it too.
Pretended my phone didn’t have service to dodge a guy who came in town to see me because I’m all in on a situationship in another state.
Had a threesome with my bestie and situationship, she was def there for him and not me.
My brother-in-law is a pompous douchebag, but I love his wife. No idea how they ever got together.
I removed myself from being friends with the someone because she wasn’t a good friend. I don’t miss her at all. I just feel guilty about how I probably look to the people in her life, like the narrative her mom and other friends probably have of me.
got a new apartment neighbor a few months ago who plays the saxophone. never have i experienced a rage as strong as being woken up on saturday morning to the fuckin sax.
I got fingered on a golf course this weekend.
I’m a probationary federal employee and at this point I’d rather just get fired. The looming “what if” is killing me.
I want a new friend group but I don’t know where to start. How do you make new friends at 30?
I’m rooting for the two people on my team to fail the goals we set together so they no longer work me. Really dragging the rest of us down.
I opened up hinge tonight and the first person that popped up was my therapist. In an absolute scorching hot thirst trap. Hinge selected her as my “most compatible.” Absolutely spiraling rn.
Got broken up with last week right before Venus retrograde… and people think astrology isn’t real?
Sometimes I scroll with a book in my lap, so when my fiancé comes in the room I can look like I have been reading.
My roommate is going on Mediterranean diet and I’m already dreading the influx of fish she’s going to cook
I wish I could play the piano but I don’t want to put time into learning how to.
I hate that my only golf buds don’t keep handicaps.
I think I’m going to lie to my boss and say I’m taking Wednesday off for Ash Wednesday religious purposes but I just want a day off.
I am seen by the crouton eater
Child-free, not childless. We are not missing anything. Thanks.