Sunday Confessions: 2-16-25

"I broke up with my boyfriend because I like my book boyfriends more."

Welcome to Sunday Confessions. Each Sunday through Sunday Scaries Instagram stories, readers submit their totally-anonymous confessions. Because sometime it just feels good to get off your chest.

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A few weeks ago, someone hacked my Spotify account on a Friday night and listened to Brazilian rave music all night. While I truly hope this person was actually at a rave in Brazil and not just some weirdo in his basement, I’m now annoyed that my listening history has been completely compromised. Am I too algorithm-coded to enjoy Spotify until all his suggestions are gone? Or is this a sign I need to get into Brazilian rave music?

This week’s confessions —

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I broke up with my boyfriend because I like my book boyfriends more.

I don’t know how to tell my husband that the reason we’re watching all the Mission Impossible movies is because I find Tom Cruise insanely hot, especially when he does his own stunts.

I’m having the worst seasonal depression of my life and the only things that brings me temporary joy are seeing my ex and going to pilates.

I’d date a 4 if she had a trust fund.

Smut is genuinely the only thing keeping me sane right now.

Took a potent gummy before working the booth at a conference—let’s just say my upselling strategy is a bit of a mystery.

While technological advances are a cool thing to witness, authenticity feels so far away now. Nothing feels honest anymore, and it makes me scared for the future.

I know I’m the best dressed and most fit of my friend group. While I appreciate this, I wish others would step up their game, even a little bit.

I got a 3% raise after an exceptional performance year so I’ve quiet quit with zero guilt.

Our neighbors and us will put our kids down for the night, and then bring the monitor to someone’s house to continue drinking and hanging out. We think about it as being no further away than the furthest part of our house and don’t regret it at all.

Told my sister I was pregnant. Her response “I’m so excited to see you get fat.”

I got so sick of my neighbor not picking up his dogs poop. So I picked it up and dumped the bag and its contents on his drive way with a note saying we’re sick of your shit and left a roll of bags.

I told my golden retriever boyfriend that I wished he left me alone more and we could be more like roommates.

All of my friends started having babies and now our group chat is spammed with baby pics and it’s made me realize that I don’t really care for babies.

I’m worried my friend is going into serious debt to “keep up” with me, when I don’t give a shit about any of that stuff.

A former friend went on a copy/paste of my vacation (same city, restaurants, bars) the weekend after I did. IT’S SO WEIRD!!??

I hate the girl that sits behind me in my grad school class. Every time she opens her mouth, I want to punch her in the face.

After finding out that some women that are swingers wear anklets, I evaluate every older woman’s ankles.

Broke up with my girlfriend because I thought everyone wanted to fuck me. Turns out, not the case.

I feel so superior to people who think reformer pilates is hard. It’s NOT that hard, like come on. I’ve gotten a better workout cleaning my house.

cannot stop thinking about pete davidson’s valentine’s day campaign

I'm irrationally jealous of my coworkers who don't have kids and get to relax on the weekends.

My wife constantly gives me updates on the Justin and Blake Lively feud and lawsuit and while I sit and listen, it's hard for me to tell her I genuinely don't give a shit.

Drank an entire box of wine on Valentine’s Day.

i haven’t told my apartment i have a dog and the carpet is definitely ruined. dont have any plans of telling them and just hoping for the best when i move out.

Hooked up with my friend’s nephew. He is 15 years my junior.

I am a vegan. I am seriously considering eating farmed oysters, secretly and alone, once a month and never telling anyone because I just don’t want to be hassled about it.

Went on a long weekend trip with someone I can only tolerate about 25% of the time. He was the only one available to go skiing when it was convenient for me.

Had sex with a guy in Vegas on Friday night and then looked him up online and found out he’s 19 years younger than me.

Cannot stand my incredibly dirty flatmate. Saw the cat eating his food he constantly leaves out, let the cat eat it and thoroughly enjoyed watching my flatmate eating it after.

Partied until 4am last night. Got on my flight this morning still drunk.

Started seeing the guy I lost my virginity to (almost 8 years ago) again and I don’t know if this could be the start of something great or just a disaster waiting to happen.

I feel like I’m constantly compromising on things for my wedding to appease friends and family, and it’s gotten to to the point where I’m tempted to run away and elope.

Sometimes I don’t brush my teeth again after a nighttime snack because the feeling of slightly sugary teeth when I go to bed reminds me of childhood sleepovers and simpler times.

Q-tips deep in my ears are my little treat.

My sister in law is going on Ozempic and I’m worried I won’t feel superior to her once she’s skinnier than me.

I am a woman in love with a woman, 19 years older than me. I feel more alive with her than any man I have ever been with.

I have a friend who still has access to her exes social media. She trolls it and sends weird messages to the girls he’s trying to DM. I’ve told her that’s toxic AF but maybe I’m wrong?

I judge people depending on the length of their valentines posts.

My best friend (or so I thought) of 7 years+ suddenly ghosted me with no explanation. I still see him occasionally as we go to the same gym. It’s been months now and I don’t want a reconciliation anymore, I just want to know why.

I saw my boss’s cover letter for another job in Dropbox.

If I don’t plan my own birthday dinner no one else will. I’m single and live alone, and for once I want just one of my friends to consider that no one else is planning something for me. I love my birthday and don’t want to spend it alone, but I also don’t want to have to plan something and ask people to come. I guess I just want to feel like someone else is considering my feelings — that doesn’t feel like too big of a birthday wish.

I shit my pants at Barnes and Noble.

I think one of my friends is gay and doesn’t realize it.

I think I married into a cult.

I’ve been watching lots of 90’s movies recently, and it’s making me want to go be slutty and live more hedonistically.

I am OBSESSED with adult breastfeeding videos. Could never tell my significant other.

I lied to my friend about being busy bc I was invited to a party she wasn’t.

My boyfriend fell asleep on the couch and I didn’t wake him up for 3 hours so I could finish my book in peace.

Spent Valentine’s Day alone reading at a coffee shop, making myself a nice dinner and then hitting the gym at night. Also saw my gym crush there so I would say I had a great day.

Editor’s Note: I’m sorry, but you saw your GYM CRUSH at the GYM on FRIDAY NIGHT of VALENTINE’S DAY and you DIDN’T pursue your own personal romantic comedy out of it for all of us to hear about?

I always tell my significant other I have to pee so I can go to the restroom to hit my vape. They are now demanding I schedule an appointment with a urologist. They have no clue what I’m really doing.

I was having a conversation with my bff and we started talking politics and I admitted that I probably wouldn’t be friends with her based on her views/values if we met today.

Had my first heavy drinking night out since Dry January. It wasn’t worth it.

Woke up after a night out and had ordered 2 personal pizzas, 6 tacos, and a slice of cheesecake. Also found a Taco Bell order in my UberEats cart. This was all for me.

I let my husband sleep in as late as he wants on weekends so he feels bad and takes the brunt of the (much dreaded) evening shift with our toddler.

Thinking of joining a running club just to get a close up visual of the hunky tan men in my city.

Got dumped two months ago. Been making art, new friends, therapy, pilates 5x a week, traveling solo, and I still think of him every day, throughout the day. Wondering when and how this shit starts working.

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