Sunday Confessions: 12-1-24

"Dreading going back to the office tomorrow to hear, 'How was your Thanksgiving?' one million times."

There was a lot in the air this week. In-laws, long weekends, multiple bottles of wine drank, and the list goes on. If I’ve learned anything after doing this series since January, it’s that people really begin to chirp up after holidays with family. Maybe it’s a good thing some of you are back in the office today? Okay, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

Here are this week’s confessions.

---

I no longer relate to any of my friends and find myself longing for new connections.

When I don’t feel like reading or responding to long texts I put them in ChatGPT to have them summarize them and write a response for me.

Canceled all of my plans today to do a 4 hour facemask and watch football.

My parents sold my childhood home last year and ever since I don’t really feel a desire to visit.

Dreading going back to the office tomorrow to hear, "How was your Thanksgiving?" one million times.

Slept with my friend/coworker and now I want more than hooking up. Terrified to bring it up.

I was supposed to be productive and apply to jobs this weekend. Instead I hooked up with two separate guys and went out every single night. Not a single app was submitted.

I have been having consensual relations with my parish priest, but now he’s avoiding me and acting like it never happened.

I’m ready for Monday for the first time in my life because being home with my kids is more stressful than work.

Got really horny after watching the Martha Stewart documentary.

I hooked up with 3 different guys this week. Before that I’d only slept with the 2 guys my entire life.

Got offered mushrooms and was surprised to see that they are actually real dried mushrooms.

Slept with my high school boyfriend that I haven't seen in almost 20 years. Used to sneak in his house at night so his parents wouldn't know I was there. This time snuck in so his sleeping 8 year old wouldn't know. Want to do it again.

I inadvertently found where he’s hiding my engagement ring, and sometimes I try it on when he’s not home.

I don’t want to buy gifts for anybody but myself. Nobody appreciates the nice things I get them so I should just get to spoil myself.

I snuck away from the Thanksgiving party to take sexy photos in the bathroom for my side piece. Four times.

I sign my family up for things I know will spam their inbox when they annoy me.

I’ve been on 12 first dates, 4 second dates, and 0 third dates this year.

My family made me say grace before we ate lunch Thursday, after I had already had 3 bottles of champagne. I don’t even know what I prayed about.

I’m so scared of my boss I want to cry.

I have so much credit card debt but I still took advantage of all the Black Friday sales this weekend.

Shit my pantaloons while I was sleeping yesterday. Yes, I'm a grown adult who's 30+ years old.

My boss started following me on Instagram so I blocked her from my stories

Had a recent break up, really struggling with not having regular intimacy. I really just want someone to grab my ass and hold me tight at night.

I’m 37 and feel more and more uncertain everyday about what I’m doing with my life. I know it’s never too late, but it feels too late.

My fiancé’s mom started talking shit about her family to me and my mom, and it just feels like she’s trying to sabotage us and see if we will spread her rumors to the rest of my fiancé’s family. I don’t even feel comfortable telling him what she’s saying about his dad and siblings but feel he needs to know.

Going indoor rock climbing today to get out of this break up funk. But every rock climbing enthusiast I’ve met are smug assholes and I will die on that hill.

At my friends’ house last night and they wanted to have a threesome but I said I wasn’t feeling well so I could go home to watch the JonBenét doc in bed.

I know I should be excited to do more with friends this weekend, but my period is coming and all I want to do is get stoned and watch 10 hours of TV.

I am in love with my best friend's twin.

When I work from home, I actually lay in the bed and feel sorry for myself.

Some weeks, I space out my Ozempic shot so I can eat like a trash panda for a day and actually enjoy it.

i slept with my co-worker. we dated for three months; he broke up with me and i found out i was pregnant last week. i honestly don’t even want to tell him.

I passed out on the dinner plate before finishing my turkey. Missed the gluten-free dessert that was made for me. Too many daytime bloodies on an empty stomach.

I work for CVS, but shop at Walgreens.

I secretly get my b-hole waxed, nothing else. My partner doesn’t know and probably thinks I’m perfect right?

I’m embarrassed by how much my college football team winning or losing determines my mood for the week.

I’m a gay man crushing on a straight man. We know each other through work and the community. I’m stressing about catching feelings because he’s very friendly and likes most of my instagram stories. Just needed to get this off my chest.

I am hooking up with a student’s dad.

Family member dying and everyone fighting over the estate. She’s not dead yet. She came thanksgiving and had to listen to us fight.

My bf and I discussed getting a place together next year but I loathe the thought of giving up my own space. Even if we were to get married, I still prefer to have separate homes.

Dirty martinis are awful and I think people who drink them have no actual taste.

I don’t want to be the breadwinner anymore and am starting to feel overwhelmed by my partners unwillingness to get a better paying job so they can equally contribute to our life.

I send my ex a copy of all my nudes before sending to a new guy to get his critique.

Whenever I fly Lufthansa I pocket their forks because my kids love them over all other forks. My dad used to do the same for me.

Sometimes I question how I've managed to get to this point in my career. I feel like I’ve faked my abilities at work more than I’ve faked orgasms.

Drunkenly and embarrassingly BLEW up this guys phone last night. I’m talking 25+ calls and FaceTimes. Followed it up with “you’re a douche and there’s no reason for us to stay in contact” text to top it all off. I hate myself.

My husband doesn’t know that at night when he’s scrolling in bed I can see the boobs reflected in his glasses. It’s sophomoric and adorable.

My baby spit up all over my mother in law’s face when she lifted him into the air and I really enjoyed it.

Not breaking up with him till after the holidays because I don’t want to be alone.

My wife has stopped trimming the wicks on our scented candles because “it doesn’t really matter.” Is it grounds for divorce?

I cried during savasana after both yoga classes this weekend. Tis the season?

I slept with my cousin on Thanksgiving. Feel guilty that I don’t regret it.

No one in my life knows that I’m secretly a trust fund baby, and I pretend to have a WFH job. It kills me daily, feel like a loser.

I saw someone get really drunk at a party tonight while I was sober and it made me realize that I need to make a change in my own drinking habits. Glad for the perspective, but sad that it took seeing someone else making a fool of themself to realize the problem in myself.

i’m writing this while masturbating

Snuck alcohol in at my in-laws church to get through the family Thanksgiving.

I WFH and feel annoyed the days my cleaning lady is here.

Fell in love with someone over night this weekend and now Mercury is in retrograde. Taking thoughts and prayers at this time.

---