Sunday Confessions: 11-3-24

"I’ve never actually finished a martini."

Between the time change and looming election tomorrow, yesterday was one of the most Sunday-feeling Sundays I’ve experienced in 2024. Did the five-to-six drinks we had at a (very) fun lunch on Saturday maybe make it a little more arduous? Perhaps.

But let’s ignore all that and get to this week’s confessions.

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My best friend has a new best friend, and I’m so sad.

Stayed over for the first time at the guy’s place and was snoring all night long! So embarrassing! Don’t think he’ll ever ask me over again.

I’m a mom of two but last weekend I went to my friend’s Halloween party and did drugs all night.

Have a hook up planned for election night to get my mind off my election anxiety.

I use ChatGPT for all the questions I’m too afraid to actually ask people.

I (a straight female) fell in love with an engaged woman this summer, now we don’t speak and have gone back to our normal lives as if it didn’t happen.

I want to see others happy and successful but get jealous when they accomplish something.

Wife was on the toilet so I peed in the sink.

Relocating for a man but telling everyone it’s for work.

I let my toddler shit in the park and I didn’t pick it up.

Nothing grinds my gears more than cuddling after casual sex, and I’m a woman.

I made out with three men last night at the bar.

My friend told me that she’s an undecided voter and I’m not sure I want to be friends anymore?

I was craving a wild night out with a one night stand. I dressed up and laid on the couch with my dog instead.

my wife has saved me from a life of complete misery. i am not dependent on her, but i hope she always feels how much love i have for her and know that i absolutely love who she is and how she has grown into an amazing mother and partner.

I check out cookbooks from the library with no intention of actually cooking from them. I just like looking at them.

Two friends decided to ghost me and I never felt better. I feel like they were holding me down to make themselves feel better about their poor life decisions and lack of ambition.

I’ve hated 99.7% of the gifts I’ve gotten from my kids.

I low-key don’t want my best friend to find love… when her love life is up, mine goes down, so if she stays down, my love life will stay up.

Messed up the line work on a tattoo (I’m a junior tattoo artist). Been sobbing everyday since and feel like giving up on my dreams.

Something about your hands around my neck sounds so good rn.

I’m 38 and have a blankie, had the same one for 30 years. I sleep with it every night, I take it on vacations, I took it to the hospital twice when I gave birth. I have no plans to give it up.

I like when my husband travels for work because I get 5 uninterrupted nights of sleep.

Smoked my first cigarette in 3 years yesterday.

Accidentally hit my friends BMW after a night out and I just left when it happened. A hit and run that I’ve never told her about. Luckily she traded her car for something better, with the ding in it still!

Went on a little secret trip with my situationship. Didn’t tell anyone and kept it off social media. While we were laying in bed, I saw him texting another girl. To keep the peace, I ignored it.

I'm dating two different coworkers right now. Different departments. One is a man and the other is a woman.

I’m considering using an AI chat bot to complain about my roommate because I can’t text my therapist about it 24/7.

I feel more sparks when he looks at me in the eyes and is actually listening to me rather than touching me.

I’ve been taking home the forks from my office when I eat lunch. They can afford replacing them and they’re so much nicer than the ones I own! Not sorry!

I used my son’s dad’s toothbrush to clean the toilet after I found out he cheated on me.

I constantly daydream about bending my hot coworker over my desk.

I was at a kids' birthday party when my tampon filled up right away. I had to keep my thighs clenched for two hours, and when I got home, it was a complete massacre in my pants.

I recently heard someone say how scared they are because they only have $10,000 in their bank account… I have never had 5 figures in my account.

A person at work reminds me a lot of my ex and they fluster me every time we have to interact.

Sobriety has been so much fun. It sucks that when you tell people how great it is you come off as preachy.

My mom still thinks Apple wiped her iTunes account and all the music she paid for. The truth? When I got my first iPhone, I changed the email and password on her account, thinking she’d never get one herself. Two years later, she bought an iPhone and was livid when she had to create a new account and lost all her music. Seven years later, she’s still convinced Apple’s to blame.

I'm sick of the keyboard warriors who think every post should be about their cause, while all they do is post on Instagram. Donate, protest, serve.

I’m almost 30 and still buy Legos.

My work bestie told me she's pregnant but I can't tell anyone yet!!!!! I am SO excited for her!!!!!!

I hate the girl I hired as my assistant but don't have the balls to fire her.

Been in a work slump for months. The digital space is exhausting. I might quit and become a ceramicist full time, I’d rather work with my hands and go back to a physical art form. Then I won’t have losers lowballing me saying “but can’t I just do it on Canva?”

I fear booktok is taking over my whole personality, I can’t stop reading smut.

I’m 40 and I spent the night with a 28 year old. I can barely walk.

Hungover parenting is not it.

I think a piece of fresh sourdough with a shit ton of butter could fix me.

I didn't spend almost all my waking Sunday hours stoned this weekend and it was not better.

Had some Sunday drinks and cut baby bangs. No regrets…tonight.

I fully intend to stress bake all day on Tuesday.

I don’t wash the pillowcase he sleeps on after he leaves so I can smell him for a few extra days.

I have my first ever therapy session tomorrow and I am so excited to better myself!

I saw my best work friend at the store from a distance and pretended I didn’t because I was super late for something and didn’t have time to say hi.

The “feelings aren’t mutual but I think you’re awesome.” Pretty sure he’s gay but I let myself fall for him anyways.

i’ve never actually finished a martini

35 and dating in the city of Chicago. Last guy I slept with had a broken bed. The one before that, a literal air mattress. Men and friends of single men, this is just sad. I know y'all can do better.

I went on a bender this weekend after 3 months of sobriety. Beating myself up a bit atm.

I have an astronomical amount of rewards points at the local gas station because I can’t figure out how to redeem them on the app.

my closet friend opened her marriage and then divorced her husband for the first poly relationship partner she had. they’re now engaged after less than a year. i can’t stand the new partner and made up a work excuse not to be at the wedding.

I’m a huge flight risk and am scared to commit to anything.

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