Sunday Confessions: 11-24-24

"Hooked up with a guy whose daughter is the same age as me."

I’m coming to you live from the living room at my parents’ house where I’m staying for Thanksgiving. Being in my hometown always brings up a lot of memories that I forgot I had. Not bad memories, though. If anything, it’s always somewhat soul-cleansing to just sit down in the chairs we had in our house years ago and feel that comfort. Both physically and emotionally.

Yeah, I get sappy when I’m here. I’m sorry.

Here are this week’s confessions.

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A small item was in the bottom corner of the cart. I saw it but never told the cashier. Left and then just popped it in one of my bags.

My boyfriend instigated butt stuff last night. And I loved it.

My best friend is on a semaglutide and she looks phenomenal and im so happy that she’s been able to get to a healthier spot but I’m so deeply jealous I don’t know how to handle it.

A guy has never made me orgasm from going down on me in my 34 years of life.

Started going to therapy, fucking expensive, but never felt this good before!

My MIL said she feels bad that my husband does "all of the work" and i honestly don't think I can ever get over it.

Hooked up with a guy whose daughter is the same age as me.

Was almost fully over her. Then she reached back out.

I got the ick seeing my 45-year-old boyfriend eating Eggos for breakfast on a Wednesday and broke up with him.

My in-laws have been here for less than 24 hours. My soul has already left my body.

My husband is addicted to his phone. Makes me feel terrible that I'm playing second fiddle to the constant scroll.

My best friend, who happens to be my crush, spent the night at my house exactly when I’m suffering from a violent and explosive diarrhea.

I’m not a fan of drinking anymore but if I stop everyone assumes I’m pregnant.

My neighbors decided to throw a party at 2 am last night. I’m purposely making a lot of noise today since 8 am. If they don’t let me sleep, I won’t let them sleep either.

How do I tell my wife she’s terrible at doing the dishes?

Think people that don't have kids are selfish and are missing the point of life.

I’ve blocked, restricted, and muted multiple social accounts within the past month. I’m no longer dealing with stupidity. I feel good.

I’m pretty sure my own mother resents me for doing well in life.

Was on a flight this weekend and ended up hitting it off with the guy next to me. At the end of the flight he asked if he could kiss me and I just laughed at him out of shock. Did I miss out on something?

Long term situationship leaves the country this week. We said goodbye yesterday. I love her.

Sometimes I take an everything shower on a Sunday just to avoid the guilt from not doing it.

Zillow says my in-laws house value is approximately $4.4 million. Their toilet paper is see-through.

Nicole Kidman’s Babygirl movie looks like cheap trash, basically soft porn. Disappointing for a studio like A24. I disapprove, but I also want to get off while watching it.

My company just took investment but I am ready to quit my job…. I’m the founder.

My ex messaged me that he wants to have me to be his “last one” before he gets married, I said no but I’m not not down.

Visited my husband’s uncle in hospice today makes me realize life is so short. Just want to move to a small cottage, have a garden and enjoy our life instead of this rat race.

Garlic does not belong in mac and cheese. I’m so tired of seeing it in every Thanksgiving recipe.

I never watch any of the reels people send me on Instagram.

My husband is irresistible with a backwards hat on. But I won’t tell him because he’ll use it to his advantage when we are arguing.

While my wife was out of town for a work trip last week, I got stoned and ate half a box of Costco pretzel bites for dinner after putting the kid to bed.

I assume picky eaters are just unintelligent people.

I’m having FaceTime sex with a man whose name I don’t know how to pronounce.

I lightly flirt with my therapist because I secretly want to date her.

I trusted a fart I shouldn’t have and now I have to shampoo my couch.

My Instagram close friends is one person. My crush. I have become Gatsby.

I judge the crap out of all the people at yoga who can't figure out that the solution to the end of their mat curling up is to flip their mat over.

I hate the current trend of women getting lots of tiny fine line tattoos. Commit to more than a time squiggle girls!

Idk if I'm just becoming old and a scrooge, but I really hate the consumerism/materialism of the holidays.

I was begging for someone to come into my life and be obsessed with me. Now that I have that, I actually can’t stand it.

I’m lucky enough to have a lot of great friends, but not lucky enough to be someone’s best friend.

I pretend to chum it up with my boss, but I secretly hope they get fired at any moment.

40th surprise birthday dinner last night and I secretly cried in the bathroom because the turnout was heartbreaking.

My husband started working out consistently but hates leg days, so now, he is starting to look like Johnny Bravo.

Spent the day cooking my first turkey as a test run for hosting Christmas at my new house when I know damn well my family will dress poorly, not appreciate it and make snide comments.

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