Sunday Confessions: 11-17-24

"I chainsmoke cigs on patio alone on Sunday nights."

Well I’m embarrassed. Last night, I stayed up until 1:15 a.m. watching a documentary about football hooliganism that turned out to be completely fictitious. While there were moments throughout the documentary where I thought things were a bit off, I chalked it up to the director making some really bizarre artistic choices. Confused when the credits rolled, a quick Google search made me wish I had gone to bed at 11 instead.

Phew, felt good to get that off my chest. Now for everyone else’s confessions.

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I love him. The end.

Whenever I see an Instagram pregnancy announcement, I immediately unfollow.

For the sake of my career and livelihood, I have to pretend to be best friends with a person who deeply used and manipulated me. I have to put on a mask that I am not hurt and that she is right when all I want to do is spit in her face.

I’m in my 30s and got diagnosed with shingles on my face. Nothing makes you feel the anguish of being alone as much as being sick and single does. Over it.

My friend got hammered and started crying and apologizing for being a bad friend. I nicely told her to shut up and say it to me sober… she won’t.

Reading the last statements of prisoners on death row in Texas is one of my hobbies.

Just finding out that my 67-year-old dad is famous.

I’m in love with a man who wants to be polyamorous and I want to be monogamous.

It physically hurts that I didn’t get to experience listening to “Move” by Adam Port in Europe this past summer. Praying it happens for the next one.

My ex and I used to read this together. It’s been almost 2 months since we broke up and I’m still heartbroken; if you’re reading this, I would still answer if you called.

I pooped in my pants last week. I’m almost 40 years old.

I attended the funeral of an ex’s father. We’re both happily married. I still shaved everywhere.

Yellowstone without Kevin Costner is a waste.

Everyone at work is excited for the office Thanksgiving potluck. I never participate because the majority of my coworkers walk out the restroom as the automatic toilet is flushing...meaning hands aren't being washed. The filthy bastards.

I flew out of state for a "business trip" but it was really to meet up with the man I'm having an affair with.

It’s rumored my boss is hooking up with two other leadership people. I wish he would just put his dick away and do his job.

Signed my ex up for a million phone and email subscriptions. Zillow, politics, Jehovah's Witness.

The only thing that will unite this nation is if American Airlines goes bankrupt.

Had a sex dream about my pregnant bestie’s husband last night. She watched.

I don’t have nearly as much money as people think I do. I’m just popular and pretty so I frolic for free.

Crawled on the bar bathroom floor.

Spent $87 on McDonald’s breakfast.

I had sex with a guy who was wearing a colostomy bag.

I spent most of my weekend in bed and only left the house to get Thai takeout and wine.

went with some friends to see strippers, payed for a private and i’m ashamed to say i really enjoyed it.

just really hope my GM doesn't look at the cameras in the office.

I don’t wash my hands after just peeing all the time.

Trying to figure out how to stop talking to this guy because his ears are too big.

I went from an entry level position in tech to a management position in a little over a year. I guess hard work and being hot pays off sometimes.

Sometimes I look at my husband and wonder when he’s going to die just so I can have control of the music in the car.

Had my first FFM threesome. The girl said I ate her out better than our guy friend did… I kind of wanna do it again.

Hallmark adjacent Christmas movies are my guilty pleasure, they're so cheesy and the storyline so predictable but at the same time.

Family is visiting for Thanksgiving so I spent the weekend hiding vibrators snd condoms.

Falling in love with my 24 year old hook-up. I turn 33 this week. Help.

I hate that my husband will never make a choice for eating out. Choose something.

Ripped my most expensive pair of jeans during a make out sesh this weekend with a guy in another city. Best make out sesh of my life though, will be visiting again soon.

I suspect my best friend is a hater. It’s one of those things you can’t say out loud unless you are absolutely sure. I’m just watching and waiting on hard proof.

I sometimes say hi to my ex by viewing their LinkedIn profile.

I’m actually elated when others cancel and the dynamic duo can eat and yap in peace.

I just came back from a 10 day vacation and can’t wait for a break from my children.

My neighbors saw me wasted a couple weeks ago things have been awkward since. I’m pretty sure they ignore me now.

Hearing the issues so many of my friends are having with their relationships is making me realize I was the problem in my last one. Not them. Me.

It’s been almost a year since a guy ghosted me but I really liked him and I know very well his routine. Sometimes I “casually” go to the places he normally goes just to see if we ran into each other again. The last time was two days ago.

I’m back with my ex and I’ve told no one yet.

I indulged in a binge of pizza, buffalo wings, cheesecake, chips, and donuts while binge-watching shows on Roku.

I attended my first lifestyle house party Saturday. There was a drinking game I participated in that got me inebriated quick. I ended up passing out early in one of the “play rooms” after I hooked up with someone. Woke up at 5am, ordered an Uber and left without informing anyone. I hate to think I made a horrible first impression.

Did yard work all weekend. Hate owning a house. Can’t wait to get up and it’s covered with leaves again.

I secretly judge people who have kids with nut allergies.

was the only one from the friend group not invited to the wedding. i introduced the couple.

I just got home from a quick weekend away and my husband isn’t home until tomorrow. I really love coming home to an empty house. It doesn’t mean I don’t love him - I do! - but it’s so nice to have some quiet for a day.

I feel like I’m the only one in my friend group who prefers to pay for what I ordered and not evenly split the bill. I pretend it’s fine, but resentment is building.

Sometimes I hope other people fail so I look better.

I got fired two weeks ago but I cannot admit it to my family because I’ll feel like a failure, thing that’s been on their minds for a long time.

I delivered my baby 3 weeks ago today. People truly only care about the baby. It’s sad but postpartum depression is real and few people check in on the moms.

I chainsmoke cigs on patio alone on Sunday nights.

Found out he likes to wear diapers - as a comfort thing - after we said I love you. Years in and I wonder if I should stay with him b/c he’s a great person or move on b/c diapers aren’t my thing. I’d hate to leave and end up thinking that was a minimal thing compared to all the good stuff with him.

Maybe I’m not meant to be default happy.

Photoshopped the date on a medical document for a friend during her employer’s open enrollment so they would put money in her HSA.

I rewatched Friends to validate being single, still in an apartment, and unsure of my job direction at 29 years old.

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