Sunday Confessions: 1-11-26

"I run a background check on every guy I match with on Hinge."

Welcome to Sunday Confessions. Each Sunday through Sunday Scaries Instagram stories, readers submit their totally-anonymous confessions. Because sometimes it just feels good to get off your chest.

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A week ago, I entered the office on Monday with bright eyes and a bushy tail. By the time Friday evening arrived, I felt like I had gone through the ringer on about a thousand fronts. Based on all of this week’s confessions, I wasn’t alone.

Here they are:

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We did a deep clean and got a new set of living room furniture. I can’t even begin to tell you how many of my husband’s finger nails we found behind and under our old couch.

My ChatGPT fantasy stories give me more satisfaction than real life and I need to touch grass.

I got emotional about Bob Weir dying and my wife rolled her eyes and told me to put my phone down. Granted, there are worse things happening in the world at the moment, but sarcastically saying, “that’s what old people do—they die,” sucked to hear.

I have a friend I desperately want to drop with no idea how. Our relationship is exclusively them sending me reels that I ignore. They messaged me saying they hope we can spend more time together this year and I don’t know how to say no.

I’m single, live alone, and still have my Christmas tree up because it makes me happy.

Went to a dinner at my parents place last night, got way too drunk, have no recollection of getting home, and now have a splitting headache.

I ran a background check on my ex’s new girlfriend.

My coworker got fired on Tuesday and her birthday party was on Saturday so I bailed because I’m scared I’ll get fired if my boss finds out I went.

He won’t get his toe fungus addressed and I might break up with him because of it.

i’m having the realization that at almost 40 years old, i might have to quit seafood entirely. i’m korean, that’s a staple food in our culture.

I am my sister’s maid of honor and really do not support this marriage.

If last week is anything indication of what the rest of 2026 will be, I may need to reconsider my life choices.

i’m a squirter and don’t know if i should be proud or embarrassed

My husband and I decided we’re done with 2 kids and donated all our baby clothes and toys. Three days later… found out I’m pregnant.

I fooled around a with my 42 yr old coworker all weekend and we have an all staff meeting first thing tomorrow.

Got to tell the guy who thought he was “the one who got away” that that title actually belongs to his best friend. It felt fucking amazing.

hooked up with someone in the friend group. at the end of the night he passed out and peed my bed.

Someone at work said the word “hockey” and my heartbeat increased. What have these boys done to me? It’s been 6 weeks and they’re still all I think about.

A few years ago I ran into my neighbor from across the street at a local watering hole and she was drunk enough to tell me that her teenage sons refer to me as “hot neighbor” and at the time it was just flattering but now that they’re in their twenties and still live across from me I actively daydream about fulfilling their teenage fantasies.

I hate dry January. I miss shaking a** on hot men.

I’m three years behind on taxes.

If I pick my nose while I’m working in my office, usually I’m too lazy to get up for a tissue so I just wipe it on the carpet next to me.

Overhead a personal hygiene conversation at work described their ‘can of tuna being open’.

He came over to my place weeks ago. We drank tequila and had sex. I kept the glass he drank out of and didn’t wash it because I could see his lip print on the rim. It turns me on every time I open the cabinet and see it.

I am sick and I’m thrilled because I really want people to stay away from me.

I run a background check on every guy I match with on Hinge.

I realized this weekend I don’t think I actually like any of my friends, but I’m too lazy to try to find new ones.

I’ve been washing my face with bottled water for a year and have been getting non-stop compliments on my skin.

I allow my toothbrush to bully me into brushing the full 2 minutes. If it doesn’t have a smiley face at the end of brushing I feel legitimately ashamed.

Last night when I was at the bar I noticed these two girls were talking about me. Then I realized they were talking about how ugly I am.

Found out my long distance gf has been using ChatGPT to respond when we have disagreements.

My husband got into an accident. To help him recover, I bought a red light panel and got him a script for the peptides I’ve been wanting.

Zepbound has done more for my mental health than therapy ever could.

I intentionally booked a work trip so that way I wouldn’t have to attend my sister’s birthday party, because I plain just don’t like her. When she called my bluff, I showed her the itinerary. Afterwards, I quickly canceled the reservation and got an eCredit I know I will use so I can keep my loyalty status.

I’d been anxious all weekend and was scared to open up to my friends about how I was feeling. Just spent the last hour crying and opening up, and this is the most calm I’ve felt the last two days. Just a reminder that you have people who care.

After a particularly rough (or stinky) shift in the ER, I will often spritz myself with perfume post-shift shower just to smell something nice as I fall asleep.

I got a new job but I haven’t told my old job I’m leaving yet. This is the most free I will ever feel.

Accidentally left my vibrator in my bed and my housekeeper found it when she came to clean this weekend.. except my housekeeper is my mom.

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