Eight twenty-somethings on how they've practiced self-care lately
"I took a two-week break from my regular routine."
Sometimes it’s the perfect bedside table with the perfect stack of books on it with the perfect scented candle situated perfectly between the perfect night mask and the perfect eye cream. It’s also what’s been generally accepted as “self-care” lately which is wrong in all the perfectly perfect ways.
Whether it’s the Love-Island-star-turned-YouTube-vlogger or the dude you knew in high school who’s been listening to too much Huberman Lab, everyone has their own tailored version of “wellness” and “self-care” these days, even though those terms are largely used to sell us things we don’t need.
Deep down, however, we all need something — whether that something is good for you or not. Too often I associate the concept of self-care with something that’s healthy, something that’s going to make me a better person. But more often than not when I’m in a time of need, I probably actually need something that’s self-destructive in order to distract myself from the chaos.
A martini on the porch after the sun goes down while I play a Spotify playlist from my phone’s speaker. A panic-bought 16-ounce Half-Baked ice cream that pairs perfectly with whatever Netflix tells me I want to watch that night. A large pasta dish for dinner despite the fact that I had a grotesquely unhealthy lunch because I was too lazy to go anywhere but Jersey Mike’s.
It’s those all-too-basic things that remind me that self-care doesn’t need to be healthy as much as it simply needs to make me feel… good.
In an effort to help alter my mindset even more, I thought I’d see how the Sunday Scaries community has been practicing their own self-care lately. And what I found was, well, pretty much exactly what I’d hoped to.
Sarah, 27
Since I work from home full time, I was noticing that I’ve been getting a little lonely. I, like so many others in the past 2 years, got a puppy. He is insanely cute but not great at sleeping between the hours of 1 am and 4. This brings me to the self care I accidentally fell into. Puppy relaxation music. Specifically “calm sounds for dogs” on Spotify. I put it on loop so my pup falls asleep. Turns out it works on humans too because I’ve been getting some of the best sleep of my life (a few hours at a time haha)
Litho, 25
I took a two-week break from my regular routine. Although having a routine keeps me in check, I’ve realised that following a routine for extended periods without taking a break can also be exhausting. Which is strange because the very same things that adds value to my life can also be exhausting. The past two weeks were spent relaxing and engaging in new activities other than what I normally do.
Cassie, 29
I’ve been going to therapy for almost 3 years now. Since I’m at a really good place with my anxiety and depression, I go only once a month for a check-in. We talk about my relationships with my friends/family, coping with different stressors at work, and just kind of recap what’s been working and what hasn’t. I really like having the appointment on my calendar to look forward to, and it serves as accountability to make sure I’m taking care of myself. Borrowing from Dwight Schrute: Before I do anything, I ask myself “would I be embarrassed to tell my therapist that?” If the answers is yes, then I do not do that thing
I also gave up TikTok for Lent, and did not realize how much time I had been spending on the app and how it affected my mental health. In the month since Ash Wednesday, I’ve read 7 books, watched a bunch of shows I had been wanting to see, and spent less money because I’m not being bombarded with fast fashion and things I HAVE TO HAVE for my apartment. I’m also not constantly annoying my friends by sending them TikToks every day, which I’m sure they appreciate. As much as I miss it, I might not download the app at all after Easter. And my therapist is just as proud as I am that I haven’t broken my Lenten fast from the app yet!
Sarah, 26
I started knitting as a 26 year old (going on 60)! I took a knitting class as a kid and found the activity so relaxing, and recently in all my excitement for a brand new niece I wanted to do something special for the baby, so I learned how to knit a hat for her. It required a lot of concentration at first, but eventually it just becomes a repetitive motion that is somehow soothing. Not to mention, once the movements became second nature to me, I could do this while listening to relaxing music, an audiobook, or a podcast (obviously Sunday Scaries). It’s also easy to pack in the car and bring camping or to the airport, and I find I get lost in screens less and less when I’m in the middle of a knitting project. 10/10 recommend taking up some form of art project to tap into mindfulness and give your brain a break from blue light!
Justin, 28
Counting weekly drinks and trying to stay below a certain threshold (mine is 20…). I use an app called “Less” and love it.
This helps me to always stay mindful and “in control” of my consumption. Do I really need to grab a beer after a stressful day at work or would a sparkling water and a short walk do the trick? Or if it’s Saturday morning and I have 6 drinks left for the week, this helps me to go into a boozy brunch and subsequent bar hop with a plan - which helps to avoid the “runaway blackout” and gives me a non-hungover Sunday to enjoy.
In summary, “mindful” drinking has changed my life.
Michael, 28
I recently learned that self-care doesn't always have to pretty or aesthetically pleasing. Sometimes it is forcing yourself to sit down and look at your finances, schedule the dentist appointment that you've avoided for years, or just spend time with the thoughts in your head that you've been avoiding.
For me, the best way to do this is to "take a pause." I'll block off a time on Sunday morning with a definitive start time and a hard end time. And I've found that its easier for me to do this if I pick a coffee shop I like or wear my favorite sweatshirt; anything comforting. Even if I didn't finish that budget or going through all my emails or getting done whatever I needed to, I've put myself in the mindset for the week that I am going to take care of myself and the momentum has already started.
After that hard end time hits is where the more fun self-care comes into play. This is where I try to be as completely disconnected as possible. Whether it be going to my favorite park, watching a movie that I've always wanted to see, or sitting in my room with a candle burning and music playing. That phase of self-care hits different (sorry I had to sneak that in there, I love Circling Back) because I know that Week Mike will take care of business and Sunday Mike can relax and not have to worry.
Jackson, 28
I’ve gotten back into LEGOs in a big way recently. They’ve been stepping up the quality of things made for adults, with small ~$20 sets of cool cars like 1970’s Ferraris and new Mercedes F1 cars, but also go all the way up to a $150 version of a Porsche 911 that took about a week to put together when doing a section of the car each night. All in all it’s cheaper than going out, and it’s fun getting back into that groove of seeing how all the pieces come together that I remember from years back.
I’m looking for a house now, so it’s been a great way to de-stress and as an added benefit I’ll have some cool stuff to put on a shelf in my new office space.
Henry, 23
Once a week I take myself out to a long solo lunch or dinner. Apps, drinks, the whole 9 yards, and reflect on the past week. Time to count your blessings while blessing yourself with a bomb meal.
That felt pretty good, huh?
If you’ve got a way of your own that you’d like to share with those in need (read: me), don’t hesitate to comment. As for me, I took the afternoon off to take my dog to the park instead of doing the work I probably should’ve been doing.
But that sounds like a problem for tomorrow.